I know I have been a horrible blogger lately.....life has been crazy! We had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year. My parents came out from Indiana and it was so nice to have them here. It was nice to have some time off work to spend with them! For family home evening right before Christmas we had a special visitor........
It was so much fun to see the kids faces when Santa walked through the front door! They were so cute....they all sat on Santa's lap and told him what they wanted him to bring them for Christmas. I even had a chance to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what I wanted most of all for Christmas.......
I asked for a baby! For those of you who know me, I am a very open person. That is putting it VERY lightly. If you want to know something......all you have to do is ask me. So here it goes. I am very open about how badly Steve and I want to have children. Here is our story, or as I like to say.....our trial.
Steve and I decided in January 2006 that we were ready to make your family a little bigger. We started trying in March. I found out I was pregnant in June 2006, but miscarried at 6 weeks. Then it took us almost a full year to get pregnant again. I found out this time in May 2007, and miscarried again at 6 weeks. Since then I switched doctors and have been diagnosed with Poly cystic ovarian disease (PCOS). I have been taking chlomid, a fertility drug, along with metformin (for my PCOS)for the last 3 months with no luck! It is rather exhausting physically and emotionally! No matter what we do, every month we are devastated to not be pregnant. I cry every month. I feel like we are on the right track with doctors who seem to know what they are doing. Every month I take chlomid on days 5-9 of my cycle, I go in for an ultrasound to check my ovaries(follicle study) on day 13 and then they give me two shots of the HCG hormone to make me ovulate! Then we get to wait for about 2 weeks to find out if I'm pregnant! Sounds fun huh?!?!
Anyway, this trial has helped me to become stronger and has made mine and Steve's relationship better! I just can't wait to be a mom someday! Hopefully soon! I hope that by sharing our struggle, we are able to help someone who may be having a similar trial in their life. Having faith in our Heavenly Fathers plan helps me when I am feeling hopeless. It helps to realize that everyone has trials......this is mine.
7 comments:
Crystal- It breaks my heart to hear your infertility trials. I have been there, done that, and it is really hard. We got through and it all turned out ok. Not what I had orginially planned but I am a mother and it was hard work to get there. But all worth it now! I too went through the clomid, shots, ultrasounds...you name it I've done it. BUT I grew so much and my love for my husband and Heavenly Father was definitely strenghtened because of it. There were days I didn't think that I would be able to get through but I always turned to my Father in Heaven and he was there to carry me. I know that you will be a mother some day and what a wonderful day that will be for you!!! Please let me know if you ever have any questions or just need someone to talk to... because I can completely understand your pain and desires. You will be in our prayers. All my love, Anne(from your x-work)
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Hey Crystal :) You and Steve are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Each fast Sunday especially. I know you'll be a FABULOUS mom, and that my future nieces & nephews are going to have SUCH a fun mom. If this trial is making your marriage stronger, that can NOT be all bad. :) I love you both so much, and I do hope the PJ pants I made you for Christmas look good on your wood floors... ;) ;) ;)
First off, please don't let my kids see that Santa came to Family Home Evening. They'll feel ripped off!
Thanks for posting about your trial. When we were struggling to start our family I would cry every time I had to tell Ben "We're not pregnant." I learned that God had a plan for me. His plan took longer than we wanted it to though.
Having a family will happen for you guys. A dose of patience, unfortunately, is in order. Know that we love you so much!
i know how you feel hun. keep trying and doing all that you can. i hope it happens for you soon! our marriage definitely got stronger through that trial as well.
Crystal-
I am sorry this has been so difficult for you. I know that you will make a fantastic mother! I know we all have our different trials for a reason, but sometimes it's hard to really figure out what that reason is in the moment.
As a side thought....a friend of mine here was put on Clomid for over a year by one doctor who told her it would help her conceive. She later switched doctors and the new one took her immediately off Clomid and told her he felt it was making it harder for her to conceive. Within six months, she found out she was pregnant and is expecting a little boy this spring. I don't know all the background as to why the new doctor felt it was actually making it harder....she has some other issues such as weight/thyroid, etc, but for some reason it worked that way for her.
I hope things will go well for you in the future...in the meantime, I know you have been one amazing aunt!!
Reading your blog entry made me cry, for two reasons: 1) I know exactly what you are going through! 2) it's such a hard trial to want something so righteous and not be able to have it, no matter what it may be. Hang in there girl. Babies come at all different times and ways. Love you!!
Hi Crystal! How neat that your hubby is a firefighter! Andy loves it. I don't see him much, but I'm glad he loves what he does. I love that the fire department is one big family. We have made tons of friends. It was good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about the infertility. I had it too. I can't believe how common it is! We wouldn't have Zoe if not for drugs. I think Heavenly Father got tired of me asking. Well keep me updated. We will pray for you!
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